TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER
HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HMO
10. Your annual breast exam is at Hooter's.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park".
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist on the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventative Care coverage is "An apple a Day."
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network charges" is not a typographical error.
3. The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "M"s on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HMO . . .
1. You ask for Viagra, and they give you a popsicle stick and duct tape.